Or most recently, when China decided to unveil Green Dam, the software that is theoretically designed to stop kids from seeing porn, but which critics have argued in fact is a political tool that blocks websites deemed sensitive. Meanwhile, Google is getting the blame for “corrupting” the country’s youth, even though Baidu has just as much access to porn. The big difference? On Google you have the option of a “Safe Search” function, which should weed out porn. On Baidu? Since China doesn’t acknowledge that porn could show up, there’s no way to opt out/in. A cynical person might say that blaming Google is an attempt to deflect attention away from Green Dam (incidentally, not the best timing to unroll a censorship tool called “Green” just as Iran’s revolution is symbolized by the same color. Not sure what to make of this, but it called be good. And while I’m getting off on a tangent, I always thought that porn was “yellow” in China, not green. Maybe I’m wrong about that. Back to the normal rant.)

So what is the solution to all of these butchered policies? Well, Cup of Cha has a cup of advice: China should hire one intern from any of the major public relations companies in Beijing. Every time the government comes up with a big initiative, it should ask Bobby the intern, “Hey, is this a good idea?” Think of him as the policeman of common sense. “Hey Bobby, think it’s a good idea to give a multi-million dollar contract to a censorship company that no one has ever heard of and is so clearly stealing the software from the US that it, in fact, looks for updates on a server in California? No? Hmmm…maybe we hire 10,000 internet police instead.”

Seriously, is there any first day PR intern who would not have recognized that, at the very least, Green Dam would need to be rolled out more carefully than it was?

This is a problem with a country without democracy. Officials never have to face the voters, so there is a certain lack of PR savvy that sets in. It’s hardly like democracy stops people from being idiots. See Rod Blagoevich, Elliot Spitzer, Michelle Bachman or any Italian official. However, normally people are a little more careful and at least have their PR disasters privately for as long as possible. In China, usually there is no recognition that perhaps foolish decisions should be kept out of the spotlight.

And that is why China needs Bobby the intern. Bobby, a sophomore at Emory who is interning at a Beijing PR firm for the summer is the answer to all of China’s public blunders.

This is the feeling I got when I read the sign in my more-beloved Spitzer’s restaurant. You may remember that I wrote about two weeks ago how they shut down the apparent brothel across from Spitzer’s that inspired my office to dub the lunch spot such a colorful name. Well, last week I noticed a sign on the wall, which was more than a little bizarre:

Quite clearly it advises people not to sell their bodies, do anything with drugs or gamble large quantities of money. Equally clearly, this is part of a confused Olympics push. First of all, even though there were prostitutes across the street from the restaurant, was it really such an issue inside that they needed a sign? That idea makes me uncomfortable about my fried noodles. Something about “unsafe things.” Secondly, if they clean that stuff up before the Olympics, doesn’t that sign simply make visitors aware of the fact that the a reminder is needed so that people don’t pimp in an eating establishment? If I walked into a famous NYC restaurant and saw a sign discouraging prostitution, my first reaction would be, “Why was prostitution such a big problem that it warranted a sign?”

I hate to be critical, as I think that many of Beijing’s efforts to make the city a great place for international tourism are great. Three examples that come to mind are (1) reducing drunk driving (2) reducing prostitution (3) removing foreigners. At the same time, I wonder if they are running the best PR campaign.

Wouldn’t it make more sense to quietly sweep away the hookers, pimps, drug dealers and casino operators quietly, and pretend they never existed? Instead they have a giant sign that essentially says “Free of Venereal Disease for 6 Days,” with a little flip counter for the number. No hooking in Spitzer’s indeed!

A few months later the Eliot Spitzer story broke. For those of you who don’t know, the former governor of New York, a man who had made many, many enemies during his time as a prosecutor, was busted in a sex ring sting. Apparently, he had spent tens of thousands of dollars on prostitutes over several years, including while living in the Governor’s Mansion.

While the restaurant has no connection with the brothel, of which I am aware anyway, its close proximity to the house of ill repute gained it the nickname “Spitzer’s.” The dubbing was a tip of the hat to my home state’s infamous leader.

This week I arrive back in Beijing and was informed that the enterprise that gained “Spitzer’s” its name, had been shut down while I was out of the country. It felt a little like finding out your buddy broke up with someone that you never really cared about one way or another, but whose very existence was a source of great humor. Think Lyle Lovett.

At first I thought that maybe they simply went out of business. After all, I had never seen anyone walk into the place. But then it occurred to me that 1PM on a Tuesday might not be high season for the whores.

Then another thought occurred to me. The Olympics are coming. The Chinese are not eager to have sex workers around (according to Danwei anyway). In that article the government expressed concern that a lot of foreigner sex workers might enter the country during the Olympics. But since that doesn’t make any sense whatsoever, maybe our local eyesores were the real targets of the sweep.

So if the woman with the white-caked face is back shortly after the Olympics (or Paralympics?) then we’ll know the cause of its closure. Of course, if place is back in business before then, we’ll all know that the American government isn’t the only ones with leaders who can’t live without a dirty little habit.

Anyone who checks in at Cup of Cha knows that I am a bit of a political junkie. I’ve actually written about a half-dozen posts that I haven’t put up because I couldn’t even vaguely justify them as being China-related. But after several requests to weigh in on the Spitzer saga, I ultimately decided I had to. Why? It’s just too stunning a story.

This is a man who built his reputation ripping out the hearts of big, often corrupt businesses. He had a bulldog mentality that led him as a prosecutor to great heights. It was a combination of smarts, guts, focus and, well, meanness, that helped him become probably the most prominent state attorney general in US history, and eventually get to the Governor’s Mansion in Albany. And it was this same arrogant mentality that allowed him to believe his own myth and think he was infallible.

The last paragraph, of course, could also be used to apply to Rudy Giuliani, nearly verbatim. Although he’s never made it out of Manhattan. And the irony is that rumors have already begun that Rudy could try for NY’s top post.

Aren’t these two men remarkably similar? They both managed to build tremendous political careers and reputations without making too many friends. Two New Yorkers from the Burroughs (even if Spitzer was closer to Yonkers than he likes to admit), who fought their way to the top, each thinking he was above the law. Rudy had sex with his cousin and got public funds to protect his mistress. Who incidentally was not a relative. Spitzer slept with women for 4000 bucks a pop.

Both also made a ton of enemies. Here’s the first e-mail a NY friend wrote me the day E.S. got busted:

There is a God!!!!!!!!!

Guess he wasn’t much of a fan. Here is the complete body of an e-mail I received exactly 20 minutes later from the same friend, who is apolitical:

I cannot begin to tell you how happy I am.

Here are the highlights from more e-mails I received on Spitzer, within 48 hours:

Never again will I have to worry about Spitzer being president.

I wonder if he’s asking for advice from [former NJ Governor Jim] McGreevy [who was found out to have been having a sexual relationship with a male aid]

I love that Spitzer used the alias George Fox. Fox is one of Spitzer’s closest friends and biggest donors. He even used Fox’s home address. What a guy…

The point is, even thought the man won election in 2006 with nearly 80% of the vote, he had some serious enemies. But if you look at what he was doing, it’s quite stunning. New reports say he spent about $80,000 over ten years on up-scale prostitutes. That’s fairly stunning. That’s almost enough money to buy you a couple of minutes of a decent war.

It’s hard to imagine how a prosecutor thought he could get away with that even as he worked his way up the ladder to the White House. But that’s the point, isn’t it? People buy into their own invincibility. Even as they become more and more closely watched, they gain the hubris to think that no one can touch them. In fac, it’s because of the hubris that this is such a big story. Normally a politician going to prostitutes is not something that drives up your positives, but it also wouldn’t end a political career–at least not this quickly. His crime wasn’t so much soliciting sex as it was thinking he was more pristine than everyone else.

And in the end, as much fun as I’ve had laughing at the Spitzer story, it’s sad and depressing. He has three teenage girls who are left to wonder why their daddy threw everything away, and why their mother was so committed to his political life, that just after finding out the horrible details, which included exposing her to “unsafe” practices, felt the need to stand by her man.

As much as Eliot Spitzer seems like a jerk, this is a tragic story.

And in the end what has happened? A crusading litigator may end up facing prosecution.

All of the enemies that Spitzer made over the years–and there were many–are the winners in all of this. Spitzer and his family are the losers. But the biggest loser? That’s right, Barack Obama. The man trying to become the first black president now has to compete with a governor of a major state who’s black and blind. Top that Mr. Platitude!