On this page the following entries were made in the “satire” category.
Archive for “satire”
US: Beijing Olympics Give Totalitarianism Bad Name
Not to scare anyone, but the State Department is warning Americans they could be watched by the government during the Beijing Olympics. You know, not in a warrantless-home-searches-in-the-middle-of-the-night kind of way, real intrusive stuff. They are advising Americans to be vigilant while in China. The report said:
All hotel rooms and offices are considered to be [...]
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Hu Jintao Claims Election, but Hillary Vows to Fight on
As reported by Xinhua, Hu Jintao has claimed victory in his re-elction today at the 11th National People’s Congress (NPC), appearing to have a clear majority. Senator Clinton told the media not to jump to any conclusions yet, citing an obscure Communist Party rule that allows for “the super army” to install anyone they want–her [...]
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Message to US: Stop Manipulating the Dollar
It’s getting to the point where you can’t find a product in China that doesn’t come from the US. The cars are Ford, the computers Apple, and the financial services are from New York. The artificially weak US Dollar has upset the natural balance of trade and distorted markets. Cup of Cha urges Congress to [...]
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Condi Rice, NY Philharmonic Perform in Pyongyang
People have said that this week’s NY Philharmonic performance in Pyongyang, North Korea was a sort of modern day Ping-Pong diplomacy. Yet, what you may not have heard about the recent concert was that US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice was the group’s pianist.
Secretary Rice is widely known to be a world-class, classically-trained pianist. What [...]
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My Edison Chen Affair
The emergence of a treasure trove of Hong Kong pop-star Edison Chen’s (陈冠希) homemade sex pictures was a shock to all, but none more so than me. When the files showed up online I sorted through them one by one, expecting to see my own image. Instead, during my strictly investigative search, I found [...]
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Crappy Olympic Gifts Unaffected by CPI Jump
As consumers around the country panicked in the face of rocketing prices for food, oil and other essential items, the Beijing Organizing Committee of the 29th Olympic Games sought to soothe frayed nerves. Xinhua reports:
The Beijing Organizing Committee of the 29th Olympic Games (BOCOG) Wednesday vowed to maintain the licensed Olympic product prices at present [...]
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Beijing, You Beautiful Bitch
Oh Beijing, why do you torture me so? Isn’t our love pure, and true? And yet you find the need to pretend your are someone else, as soon as we have guests. You are ashamed of your smoke-filled restaurants, buses and even taxis, so you ban smoking in public places during the Olympics. Do you [...]
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Shame on you Mr. Spielberg!
Just in case you were somewhere without power this week (like south China) and missed it, Steven Spielberg has not only backed out from his role in the Beijing Olympics, but rubbed it in China’s face. He has announced that his conscience will not allow him to support a country that continues to play a [...]
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Wen Jiabao: Blizzard Sad for Botanists
Premier Wen Jiabao raced around the country to do his man-of-the-people routine in response to the blizzards that preceeded Spring Festival. He announced that the great tragedy of the blizzard was “some mandarins (oranges) died and trees were toppled.” This according to China Daily.
It’s really sad that some trees died, but what about the [...]
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China Should Forgive American Debt
I’m tired of all of the whining from poor African countries about their debt. Sure much of it was racked up under previous, corrupt rulers, or even colonial powers, but honestly, can’t they just dig their way out of it? Last year China forgave 1.3 billion dollars that 31 African countries owed Beijing. That works [...]
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