On this page the following entries were made in the “Poor Attempts at Humor” category.
Archive for “Poor Attempts at Humor”
“Free Tibet” Flags Chinese Made
If I had thought of this first I would have written it as satire. But it occurred in Guangdong first.
You know those flags that have become the ire of most Chinese citizens advocating the breaking off of one of China’s biggest provinces? Many were made in China, unbeknownst to factory owners and workers. If the [...]
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How to Hold-Up a Chinese Bank
Now mind you, I’m definitely not advocating robbing a Chinese bank, I’m just saying that the absurd measures they go through to protect truck deposits got me wondering. You know what I’m talking about: the enormous guns that the dozen or so rent-a-cops have as they pour out of the vans to collect or [...]
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Government Takes a Cup of Advice
As I’ve always suspected, the top levels of the Chinese Government eagerly await Cup of Cha’s thoughtful advice. After I advised China to look for a PR firm three weeks ago…they did. Image Thief has a link to a NY Times article on the issue.
Now I know what you’re thinking: but of course they listened [...]
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My Edison Chen Affair
The emergence of a treasure trove of Hong Kong pop-star Edison Chen’s (陈冠希) homemade sex pictures was a shock to all, but none more so than me. When the files showed up online I sorted through them one by one, expecting to see my own image. Instead, during my strictly investigative search, I found [...]
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Beijing, You Beautiful Bitch
Oh Beijing, why do you torture me so? Isn’t our love pure, and true? And yet you find the need to pretend your are someone else, as soon as we have guests. You are ashamed of your smoke-filled restaurants, buses and even taxis, so you ban smoking in public places during the Olympics. Do you [...]
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Funny YouTube Links
Tired of the Olympics, snow, and the election? Here’s some good old fashioned fun.
This is a series of videos, the first of which I’ll post and the rest of which I’ll link to. I never knew that Jimmy Kimmel was funny, but if these are any indication, he’s absolutely hilarious.
There’s [...]
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Wen Jiabao: Blizzard Sad for Botanists
Premier Wen Jiabao raced around the country to do his man-of-the-people routine in response to the blizzards that preceeded Spring Festival. He announced that the great tragedy of the blizzard was “some mandarins (oranges) died and trees were toppled.” This according to China Daily.
It’s really sad that some trees died, but what about the [...]
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Where is the Poo?
While walking home today it occurred to me that Beijing has no dog poo. There are so many dogs in modern China, but I never see any poo. It’s true that this is not the noblest of questions, but I’m not the noblest of people.
Everyday I see people leaving my apartment building with their ugly, [...]
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Presidential Slogans for China
If US Presidential candidates were running in China, what would their slogans be?
Edwards: There are two Chinas. (This one is courtesy of Stan at China Hearsay.)
Rudy: Noun. Verb. 改革开放。
Hillary: You want guanxi? I got guanxi.
Obama: Imagine the possibilities: China’s first black president.
McCain: Straight talk: Japan is great.
Romney: Japan is the devil. Yao Ming is super. [...]
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Beijing 2008’s TOO AWESOME Theme Song
I’ve been watching a bit of CCTV 5, errrr, CCTV (Olympic Rings), and have seen the Olympic theme song video about a dozen times in the last two days. Never to be one to use hyperbole, I’m arguing that this is definitely one of the two greatest famous-people ensemble songs ever made.
Let me say straight [...]
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