Beijing Bans Oasis to Obscurity
In a shocking move, Beijing has canceled planned dates for an Oasis tour that would have landed them in Beijing and Shanghai. Shocking, because apparently Oasis still has enough of a following to go on tour.
Beijing apparently just discovered that lead singer and guitarist John Lennon–I mean Noel Gallagher–played at a Free Tibet event 12 years ago. Now, I don’t want to speak out of turn here, but the Gallagher brothers are not exactly known as the sharpest tools in shed. Reportedly, they were “bewildered” when they discovered that a Free Tibet platform might not endear them to the Communist Party. I don’t think this was the first time they would describe themselves as “bewildered.”
It seems like there would be a lot better ways to embarrass these numbskulls than banning them from playing in China. Aren’t they already pretty obscure? It’s not exactly like any Chinese would be going to see them. In fact, I don’t even think any non-Brits would be going. And even then, it’s got to be the 29-34 crowd, because it’s not like they were popular that long. They had that hit Wunderwall, or something, and um, I mean I really like Oasis. You know, like in a Screaming Trees kind of way.
The point is, these guys haven’t been the most impressive performers in at least a decade. And by “decade” I mean never. So I completely get that if you do a Free Tibet concert, even 12 years ago, you’re not going to be able to book a date in China. But couldn’t the government come up with better ways to stick it to them. I’m quite confident that I would be much better at getting back at Oasis than the current policy. Here are four much more effective tactics that would make China look like it had more of a sense of humor and less of an authoritarian streak:
- Quietly pressure the promoters to price the tickets low so that the average Chinese Oasis fan could attend, and then buy most of the tickets, forcing them to play in front of empty stadiums.
- Allow them to come to China, but only grant them visas through CITS and them force them to spend an hour in a ceramics factory while local hawkers try to sell them crap every time they go to a restaurant, hotel or stadium.
- Stage a press conference where the reporters keep asking Noel questions like, “Do you find your current work more rewarding, or the stuff you did with Wham! ?”
- Force them to go to a banquet with the leadership of a Jilin SOE.
Essentially, they’ve turned Oasis, who are basically embarrassing never-weres, into the good guys in the story. AND China is bringing attention to the Tibet issue. PLUS, it’s not even like they are playing to the Chinese domestic audience, because, as I’ve made it abundantly clear, no one knows who the hell Oasis is.
It goes back to the main problem that a lot of foreigners have with the Chinese progaganda machine. In situations like last year’s falling out with the French or Jack Cafferty, most people understand that China is willing to get abysmal international press to ensure popularity at home. However, a lot of times they just miss the boat on the story altogether and needlessly get a bad reputation. Like when they censored the media center’s internet during the Olympics. Sometimes they get so caught up with being righteous that they forget who the target is and what is an effective response.
Of course, we have politicians who do that in America, but that guy went down as the worst president in history. Until W came along and took that title with the same dumb tactics (and worse policy).
John R responds:
Posted: March 16th, 2009 at 10:22 pm →
Josh, I guess the government doesn’t care about American or British popular opinion. Shocking!
And in your previous blog, strangely also Phelps cares more for Chinese opinion too, shunning Americans by not apologizing to them. I’m sensing a theme here.
BTW you sound like a closet Oasis fan. Acceptance is the first stage of grief, sorry, but they ain’t coming to China and your blog entry isn’t going to change anyone’s opinion in the Chinese government (particularly the clever way you try to emphasis so much how insignificant they are so as to hide your fan boy love for them and also trick China in to letting them in, but you aren’t fooling me). Sorry to break this to you.
roberto responds:
Posted: March 21st, 2009 at 9:02 pm →
Oasis are proper, continuing the English rock tradition, true working class heroes, not wannabe punk student american bands, hearing them in the backgorund of films like American Pie, these guys were at their apogee in the time of a great flowering of British music, reminding ourselves, the English, who are the governors when it comes to the rock tradition. -the great show of attitude and Burberry duffel coats and getting completely off your head on coke – Americans typically think they are dickheads, but look at the Yanks! Never seen such a lot of self conceited same opinionated cultureless wanna bes in all my life, just the sound of the accent goes through you. The music of Oasis, the article claims, was never all that, but i look around now and what is there to replace it? Hip pop? Seems like being traitorous to me, the lyrics have no meaning outside of some scenario or selling drugs and battling gangs, and you have those ugly obsenities jumping around with bling. The rock bands? there is nothing behind them, not like the origins behind the greats, the epic rise from obscurity through drug filled days and legendary encounters to great creativity. I could just tell this man writing this article was American – what a sense of humour. were the ways to embarrass Oasis meant to be funny? Bloody hell, need work on that one. Well, oasis are still having it, and if the chinese do not know who aosis are (most chinese i have spoken to only know Westlife, Blue and Boyzone as well as Celine Dion anyway) they would have mightily enjoyed the concert anyway, as oasis concerts i have played to chinese students they have really liked, found it a revelation (and alternative to ubiquitous and ultimately banal American rock culture) and there is no mistaking oasis for any other nation than – yes- English – just look at them, americans are just pretenders. So Yanks, even your bands are not original, as is not your culture! Mad for it!