Tips for the Beijing Olympic Traveler
While places like the State Department have good information, and BOCOG has scarce information, Cup of Cha brings you the real scoop about what to be prepared for during the Olympics. Good Luck Olympics indeed!
1. You may not realize this, but “Murphy” was Chinese. Or at least a traveler to China. Everything that can go wrong in China, will go wrong. You would think picking up your Olympic tickets would be easy. Not if you have a middle name. But that shouldn’t a problem for most foreigners, right? And I’m sure that missing chunk of airport railway will hardly be noticeable to the average tourist.
2. Know the law that we secretly passed and did not announce. Did you know that theoretically all foreigners are required to carry passports at all times? It’s true. What, you didn’t get the memo from the secret legislative session?
3. If you ever have a problem with the authorities, speak English very quickly. The caveat to this, of course, is that more obscure languages are much better, just in case you get unlucky and end up talking with the Chinese Da Shan. The less they understand of you, the more likely the are to give up. Even if you just keep repeating, “No Habla Chinese-a” it should help a little.
4. There will be at least one event that you will have trouble getting into for no apparent reason. This is China.
5. Your taxi driver will have no idea where something really obvious is, even if it’s written in Chinese with a map. In New York all cab drivers are from the middle east, Pakistan, India or Africa. And yet they generally know where they are going (at least the landmarks). In [Beijing], drivers are legally required to be from Beijing. Problem is that includes suburbs 200 miles away. Where apparently all taxi drivers live together in a compound with no maps.
6. Don’t get caught cheering for Japan. You don’t want to incite a riot. In fairness, France is the new Japan.
7. Don’t wear orange to a sporting event. Now this is my own theory, but I’m quite confident in it. Orange clothing is the way to protest China’s various hideous policies without unfurling a banner, or employing the modus operandi, which of course is attacking wheelchair bound Chinese people. I’m convinced that the security forces will be instructed to carry out a policy that will leave many normally jovial dutch people bloodied and confused.
8. Always ask for the menu in Chinese. It’s true that you’ll never know what you’re ordering, but some places have all-English menus with, uh, liberal pricing. This happened to my friend who took a visitor to the Great Wall. She asked for a menu each in English and Chinese, and the owner was so embarrassed at the price discrepancy, she refused to provide the English one. It’s not too bad inside the city, but during the Olympics all bets are off.
9. Oh yeah, during the Olympics, all bets are off.
Good Luck Olympics, and good luck all visitors!
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duckoutofwater responds:
Posted: June 18th, 2008 at 10:02 am →
#5 just happened to me last Friday, asked cabbie to take me to Xidan Beidajie, ended up at Beijing West Railway Station. Cabbie knew nothing of Xidan.
Pappi responds:
Posted: June 18th, 2008 at 12:15 pm →
My friend’s driver couldn’t figure out that she was saying “Tian’an men.” She kept making a sign for big and saying “Mao Zedong” but he ended up taking her to the south end of the square (Qianmen) rather than the north end by the Mao picture.
Yokie Kuma responds:
Posted: June 18th, 2008 at 12:17 pm →
I (unluckily) have been to Beijing a few times and I am always amazed that the cabbies do know where places are that are not close by ….. their knowledge seems based upon the size of the fare
Bill responds:
Posted: June 18th, 2008 at 12:46 pm →
8: You should be sure that the price is in RMB and not US$. It may change when you pay.
10: You should also ensure what the unit is when you find unit pricing, like $1/something. That something could be ounce, pound, kilogram, gram, or 100 grams, catty, 1/10 of a catty…
TheOtherRichard responds:
Posted: June 18th, 2008 at 1:08 pm →
@Pappi,
the south end of the Square is about as close as cabbies are permitted to stop to the front gate of the forbidden city without risking a 200 RMB fine. Could be he knew exactly where he was going, the prevailing traffic conditions and positioning of the cameras - just had no idea how to tell your friend that he could not deliver her to exactly where she wanted to go.
Nick responds:
Posted: June 18th, 2008 at 1:09 pm →
All true! I have ben trying to drum #1 into my Taiwanese girlfriend for the past 6 months. She can’t understand why in China simple excursions always snowball into monsterous cluster-f%#ks, why when taking a taxi to catch a train you should leave 30 min to an hour earlier than you normally would to allow for the very real possibliity that the taxi company will send you a llama or take you to the bus staton instead.
Unless you’re prepared for any eventuality here you will get screwed every time.
Meg responds:
Posted: June 18th, 2008 at 2:23 pm →
Don’t forget about the taxi drivers who decide not to take you because you’re going too far, or they’ll have to turn around, or they don’t feel like it!
Ryan responds:
Posted: June 18th, 2008 at 4:01 pm →
Haha, great post Josh.
Though, not sure if ALL taxi drivers in China are from Beijing. I’m pretty sure we’ve got some here in Suzhou that are from Neptune… or was it Uranus?
Jeremiah responds:
Posted: June 18th, 2008 at 5:18 pm →
Brilliant. I agree with every one.
nanheyangrouchuan responds:
Posted: June 22nd, 2008 at 2:32 pm →
Watching the Olympics crash and burn will be spectacular fun. What a shyte hole of a country!
Shu Jierui responds:
Posted: June 23rd, 2008 at 4:25 am →
I definitely disagree with nanheyangrouchuan, but it will be fun to read all of the new blog posts recounting everyone’s Olympic “experience.” Anyone have tix?
Imgladtheirgone responds:
Posted: June 24th, 2008 at 4:47 pm →
The best tip for any ex-pat who has lived in Beijing for many a year is this:
LEAVE BEIJING DURING THE MONTH OF AUGUST!
There will be so many hassles, it’s not worth staying.
There will be too many dumb three-week laowai tourists in the City who will cause all manner of problems for those who have lived in the city for years. Prices will go up, crime will go up, security will be tight.
Who needs that crap?
Long-time ex-pats should get out of Beijing for the duration of the games. As William Shatner sang, “Everyone hates a tourist.”
And by the way, it has been always the law that all foreigners are required to carry passports at all times. Some foreigners were just too stupid to acquaint themselves with that particular law. Whereas in the past, the PSB would look the other way when a foreigner was caught without “Papers”, now they don’t…the law is actually being enforced the way it should have been for the past twenty odd years.