You Scratch My Han Back
One of my readers who is apparently trying to sell Olympics tickets online sent me an odd e-mail he received from a potential buyer, which tried to draw an ethnic pride to get a good price:
Beijing Friends,
I am Ethnic Chinese born in China.
I live in America at the moment.I need help from other Ethnic Chinese, because I would VERY, VERY much like to attend the “Opening and Closing Ceremonies” and “Men’s Basketball Finals Gold Medal Game”; I would need a “reasonable price” because I am a university student on a limited budget.
So basically, I want all of the best tickets, but I don’t want to pay much, but don’t worry, I’m ethnic Chinese. There probably aren’t too many ethnic Chinese looking for tickets, so it’s a good idea to give them to me. It gets better. Much better. And it appears to be in Haiku format.
THIS IS MY ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME DREAM!!!
Please help.
From one Ethnic Chinese to another Ethnic Chinese.
If you need my assistance.
Please do NOT hesistate to ask.
If you have any questions regarding “America”.
Or any other questions, I would like to help.
I do have many questions about this “America” I keep hearing about. Now, my sources, namely John Edwards, insist that there are in fact “two Americas.” I find this confusing because Senator Obama says there isn’t a “Black America” and a “White America,” only the “United States of America.” Please clarify this apparent discrepency. I will give you opening and closing ceremony tickets as well as gold medal game basketball tickets in return for your knowledge.
You help me.
I help you.We help each other.
I will be in Beijing in a short while.
I would be please to be meet you in person so that we can help each other.Xie Xie,
[name]
If this works, I have to reconsider my entire outlook on life. Think of the possibilities:
To Whom It May Concern:
I am White.
But there are many “Mexicans” in my neighborhood.
It is my dream to have excellent World Series tickets.
In addition to being White, I am also cheap.
In you give me things for free.
I will teach you about these “Mexicans.”Gracias Amigos! (That is Mexican for “Thank you fellow White person”)
So if you see a Han Chinese person in the crowd during the Opening Ceremony, assume that our friend was able to exchange his unique knowledge of “America” for tickets.
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Mick responds:
Posted: June 13th, 2008 at 8:04 pm →
It’s a yellow thing. You wouldn’t understand.
Jia responds:
Posted: June 14th, 2008 at 2:33 am →
This is just hilarious. I can now tell the difference of “ethic” Chinese and Chinese .
cap responds:
Posted: June 14th, 2008 at 5:11 am →
This is typical culture clash and prejudice.
Just think about yourself buying car in States and negociating with sales agents.
Claiming `poor’ is to pressure for low offering price.
Well, your westerners contempt and racist bias never go away. See all of you in hell.
Josh responds:
Posted: June 14th, 2008 at 8:01 am →
@Cap-
Wait, you’re going to be in Hell?
revi responds:
Posted: June 14th, 2008 at 8:47 pm →
This is funny, but as usual there will always be people who’ ll use any means to “try it on”. The guy will probably just resell the tickets at a profit either online or somewhere else anyway.
hopi responds:
Posted: June 15th, 2008 at 5:25 pm →
This strikes me as odd to have been written by a Chinese person. Most Chinese people tend to identify with other Chinese who are from the same ancestral province or the same ancestral city rather than oh, I am also Han Chinese, could you help me out. Usually it’s, I am also from Fuzhou or I am also from Shaanxi, could you help me out. I have never encountered a single Chinese person using the Han Chinese ethnicity as a means to gain favor from another Han Chinese.
On a second note, it’s disappointing that you chose to write a blog entry over third hand information: an email by an unknown person to a reader. As we all know, people can easily create false identities using email, and it may very well have been a prank written by a Chinese or a non-Chinese person.
Lu responds:
Posted: June 15th, 2008 at 6:39 pm →
Note that “ethnic Chinese” is not the same as “Han Chinese”: apart from Han it seems to include Manchu, Mongols and Tibetans. Or even more minorities. The Chinese is (if I’m translating it back correctly) 中華民族, and the term is an absolute minefield. I doubt even many Chinese know who exactly is included.
But I doubt that’s what the writer means, he (or she) seems to use “ethnic Chinese” where he means “Chinese” or “overseas Chinese”. More of a language mistake than an appeal on ethnicity. (Although the writer does seem to try to create that “us Chinese are all one jia” feeling, but that’s not so strange.)
Josh responds:
Posted: June 15th, 2008 at 8:29 pm →
@Hopi,
It was not an unknown reader. It was a good friend of mine who also reads my blog.
Nick responds:
Posted: June 16th, 2008 at 5:05 pm →
I can thnk of numerous occasions where i’ve brought a chinese friend shopping to help me haggle the price. Firstly locals generally get a better price by virtue of being Chinese, secondly many times in this instance a shop keeper would berate my friend for helping an outsider and not their Chinese comrade.
Pappi responds:
Posted: June 16th, 2008 at 5:44 pm →
Maybe you’re better off with a Chinese person because shopkeepers think foreigners are dummies.
will responds:
Posted: June 19th, 2008 at 1:05 pm →
@ Lu
figure out what you are talking about before you start correcting people. Ethnic Chinese means exactly Han Chinese. The Chinese nationality also includes other ethnicities such as the ones you mention. You could say: “Chinese citizens are made up of 56 ethnicities, the majority are Han Ethnicity, or ethnic Chinese.”