Cup of Cha
This is China

How did a group of foreigners out for a late night jog end up in Beijing police custody on Tuesday? This is the odd story of the Hash House Harriers. Olympic marathoners be warned.

A Beijing groups of Hash House Harriers, known amongst themselves as “The Harsh,” decided that there would be no better wasy to celebrate April 22nd’s full moon than to have a nice evening 8K run around the Worker’s Stadium area and through some local Hutongs. One of the runners on the ill-fated mission can take over:

By 8:15, 11 Hashers gathered for the circle, and Trixxxie set off with 5kg of flour to lay the course. 10 minutes later, the hashers were [on]. Following the first few marks, it was pointed out that there seemed to be an unnecessarily large amount of flour being used and sure enough, shortly after the first open check, the marks were fewer and Willy Wanker caught Trixxxie as he was out of flour. As the Hashers waited on a foot bridge for more flour to be bought, it was noticed they had lost one Hasher along the way, and with a phone call discovered that the Hasher was already back in the Rickshaw having some drinks…

At one point during the circle, one of the female hashers went inside the Rickshaw to purchase food. While she was there, she was informed that the police had been there earlier looking for a group of runners. Back outside she went, only to find no less than 10 policemen, complete with 4 cars all standing around. When asked if she was part of the running group who had been going around the area, she realized that the shorts, t-shirts and runners she was wearing would make ‘no’, not really an option.

A group of policemen waiting for you at the end of an evening stroll is never a recipe for fun. But then again laying mysterious white poweder on the streets, at night, in a foreign country, is not ideal either. Our runner continues the story:

Over to the circle the police came and wanted to know about the suspicious substance that they had been throwing around the streets of Beijing. The Hashers were told that the police were tipped off about a group of foreigners running around the area, throwing and mysterious white substance onto the ground. The police had apparently discovered the trail and had been following the hashers and their trail all the way back to the Rickshaw.

I would give anything to have seen the police officers huddled around trying to figure out how to track down the culprits before one said, “I wonder where this trail of powder goes.”

The Hashers tried to explain that it was only flour and had just purchased the bag at Jinkelong for 13 kuai. They even provided the empty bag as proof (aka exhibit A). The police were not convinced.

Getting cold, and having to await the arrival of the police El Capitaine, the Hashers decided to go into the Rickshaw and have some food and Beer…

Off to the Police station it was decided they go. They piled into the police cars and as they drove away they heard the words “I don’t think there will be any Hash events at the Rickshaw again anytime soon”, uttered by its manager.

At the police station, the 7 remaining Hashers who failed to earlier escape, were asked for ids and passport numbers…With a few clicks of a button, the Hashers’ Chinese paper work was printed out to be analyzed. The clock on the wall read “106 days till the Olympics” and the hashers were feeling the One World, One Dream sentiment…

It was decided by the Police that interviews must now take place, at which point, Long Legs called his wife in Holland to wish her a Happy Birthday and to let her know of his criminal antics in China.

Hey honey! I might end up the evening Chinese labor camp. But have a drink for me!

After almost an hour of attempting and re-attempting to describe the intricacies of the Beijing Hash, Boxer Hash and Full Moon Hash, in Chinese to the Police, the question most often repeated was “why flour”. The female interviewees were informed that they could consider using another substance next time, such as laundry detergent. The male hashers were told that by spreading 11kg of flour on the streets they had wasted food, to which [one] replied that they had rightfully purchased the flour and had therefore the right to waste it if they liked. The officer and him agreed to disagree on this matter. The male hashers were also informed that by spreading flour on the streets they were contributing to the pollution in the city. They were told that should the wind pick up, the flour would blow everywhere and Beijing would be dirty. There you have it, the Hash is actually responsible for most of the pollution in the city…

An hour later, interviews over, the hashers were back in the lobby. When asked if they could now go home they were told they would have to wait for the “results”. Results of what you might ask? Turns out that team Crime Scene China had collected samples of the mysterious white powder and had taken it to be tested.

And at the wee hours of the morning, English nuance become the focal point:

During the second round of interviews, two of the Teacher hashers were overheard giving English lessons on the difference between ‘flour’ and ‘flower’. No, we did not throw rose petals all down the streets of San lit tun. One hasher even drew a diagram on the statement sheet in order to ensure that the difference was clear…

The hashers were informed that CSI China would like to go and take pictures of the crime scene and would like a Hasher to go with them and show them the trail that they followed. A resounding, echoing no was chanted in unison by the Hashers, saying it was too long, too late and too cold.

Not everyone had to go around the town, after a bit of a battle. However, some did. But don’t worry, there was documentation

Meanwhile, [one Hasher] was sending minute-to-minute text message updates to one of the hashers back at the station, detailing the going ons of team CSI.

Text number 1:

“They brought a broom and our sweeping behind us. Not a joke. Sweeping”

Text # 2:

We’ve just turned right off san lit tun nan lu. I snapped at the cop when he asked – is THIS flour also the flour that you spread? No you ninny, it’s someone else’s flour!”

Apparently team CSI was not entirely convinced that there was not another group going around the city also spreading flour…

Text #6 and # 7

“They are trying to reconstruct the route from their own memory and it’s not working.”

Note to police: the best way to remember the path is by laying out a nice thick, white trail of…never mind. Anyway, eventually things got “sorted” and the police decided that labor camps were too much punishment, but maybe a little reeducation might do the trick:

Before the hashers could officially leave however, they were given a stern lecture on never using flour again. As they were walking out the door, one member of the hash invited the police to join their next hash. He didn’t look impressed.

So at 3:57 am, no less that 5 hours later, the Hashers were finally free to go. With one last look they noticed the countdown to the Olympics clock had changed to 105 days.

This isn’t the first time these words have been posted here: Cup of Cha can’t wait for the Olympics to begin.

Tags: hash harriers, police
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