China’s Answer to The Onion
My new favorite news source is a little paper called Beijing Today. Earlier this week I wrote about the article that turned me on to it, but the more I dig, the better it gets. (And yes, this will be the last post on these guys, although I strongly encourage you to read the paper on your own regularly.)
Normally I would feel bad picking on a Chinese newspaper in English, because normally that’s not very nice. However, the area that I find most amusing is specifically the articles that are supposed to have a keen awareness of the perils of the English language. Furthermore, part of what I find so enjoyable is the work of a foreigner or two who are going to great lengths to find problems with Chinese translations when they are not all that confusing. Let’s start with the absurd Chinglish sign series that they feature on their site and hard copy.
First of all, usually you can barely even make out what the signs say because the pictures are horrible.
Second, while the translations are awkward, they aren’t that bad. Take this one on the left for example:
Apparently this is really confusing because the translation is ‘No Burner,’ which seems like it should be ‘no smoking’ but actually means you shouldn’t burn anything. On top of that, there’s a picture with a match and a line through it. Nevertheless this seems completely baffling to the author:
At first, smokers might think this was a simple sign referring to “No Smoking.” China which often desibes itself as the “workers paradise” can also be viewed especially among Westerners – as a “smoker’s paradise” for its lax rules and regulations on where and where you cannot smoke. So this sign could come as quitehock to some. Let me say that the typos tend not to be in the print version, so we can’t blame the author for that, but we can for this: But upon further investigation, the images in the sign appear to be “no matches.” The Temple of Heaven is filled with trees and shrubbery and it is a good idea not use matches to start a forest fire. The [correct] Chinese [translation] would be, “Don’t allow fire.”
So his basic point is that no one could possibly figure out what ‘no burning’ with a red line through matches could mean, but “Don’t Allow Fire” is crystal clear. That must be why the campsites across America are littered with “Don’t Allow Fire” signs. If only the foolish Chinese government had this brilliant native English speaker’s skills at its disposal.
Moving on to probably my favorite Chinglish ‘real story’ that we find in the newspaper, which I can only hope is supposed to be satirical:
Similar English phrases may have nuances of difference, and some may be diametrically opposed to each other with just minor additions such as a definite article.
Once, an English-speaking man met a Chinese girl. They got along quite well and the man fell in love with her. He was head over heels with her and finally proposed marriage.
“May I have your hand?” The man asked. “I wish to [marry] you.?
The Chinese girl replied: “It’s out of question.The man thought that his loved one consented and he decided to make the necessary wedding plans. He bought an apartment, furniture and other homely items.
On the eve of the wedding day, the man told the girl that he is the happiest man on earth as he is going to marry her.
The girl, however, responded as follows: “How is that possible? I never agreed to your marriage [proposal].”The man said, “You said that it is out of question.t turns out that the girl wanted to say, “It’s out of the question” instead of “It’s out of [question].”
If you look it up in Webster’s Dictionary, you will fnd that “out of question” means “doubtless.” “Out of the question,” in contrast, means “[impossible].”
This might be the single greatest story ever written. Here are the reason it makes no sense whatsoever.
First, when she answers the man he believes that she has accepted, while she thinks she has rejected his overture. And yet no one seems to notice that the two reactions are completely different.
Second, the guy buys a house and plans a wedding, but somehow never mentions this to his future bride. When I buy I scarf I make sure my girlfriend signs off, but somehow she is completely unaware of anything before the big day.
Third (and the premise of the story), the phrase ‘out of question’ would never be confused with an affirmative. In fact, my friend who found this article looked the phrase up in the dictionary as instructed, and it doesn’t exist. Apparently he has a lot of free time because he researched the issue and claims that a dictionary from 1913 has a reference to the phrase being used in Shakespearian English. Apparently, not only was the man extremely well read, but he assumed his non-native English speaking girlfriend was too. Enough so to buy a house and plan a wedding without double checking.
The sheer illogical nature of this story makes me wonder if I am the butt of this whole joke. After all, who can forget a few years ago when Chinese papers plagiarized a story and insisted that they had not…until it came out that they had stolen it from The Onion.
Share This
Bobby responds:
Posted: January 19th, 2008 at 2:19 pm →
That newspaper is actually pretty easy to find around town. The sad part is that I think some Chinese use it as a resource to learn English, particularly the section that you are referring to. Hopefully no teachers use it.
How do you know that foreigner is a native English speaker? Isn’t it a pretty Indian sounding name?
TaiTai responds:
Posted: January 21st, 2008 at 4:42 pm →
Much Ado About Nothing.
CLAUDIO: I had well hoped thou wouldst have denied Beatrice, that I might have
cudgelled thee out of thy single life, to make thee a double-dealer;
which, out of question, thou wilt be, if my cousin do not look
exceeding narrowly to thee.
Now it all makes perfect sense.
Josh responds:
Posted: January 21st, 2008 at 7:48 pm →
TaiTai:
Did you know that off the top of your head or did you look that up?